In other words, people are unlikely to walk away from a chat with someone new thinking that their interaction partner was quite interesting but not very likable. The second mistake we found people make is failing to recognize that their new conversation partners will form global impressions of them that are not extremely nuanced. This outcome suggests one reason people prefer those who speak up: Learning more about a new conversation partner can make you feel like you have more in common with them. For example, a previous study randomly assigned one participant in a pair to take on the role of " speaker" and the other to take on the role of " listener." After engaging in 12-minute interactions, listeners liked speakers more than speakers liked listeners because listeners felt more similar to speakers than speakers did to listeners. ![]() This was only one study with 116 participants, but the outcome aligns with other researchers' prior findings. We call the mistaken belief that being quieter makes you more likable a "reticence bias." We found that the more participants spoke, the more they were liked by their new conversation partners. In our study, we randomly assigned people to speak for 30%, 40%, 50%, 60% or 70% of the time in a conversation with someone new. However, it appears speaking up a bit more is actually a better strategy. ![]() ![]() First, we found that people tend to think they should speak about 45% of the time to be likable in a one-on-one conversation with someone new.
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